#poetry LET ME LIVE

I sit down on my bed

Tired, exhausted, burnt

It was a busy day in here, my head.

I do nothing, all day, all night

Nothing at dawn, nothing at twilight

Just sit back, pondering

Lie down endlessly thinking

Why am i only floating?

In the slow, grey river of my life

Stagnant, still, lifeless

I only drift by, purposelessly.

If only I were a brook, zealous

I’d be gushing with excitement, over pebbles

Not stressing over my troubles.

If only I were full of life

I’d be lighting bulbs of ideas

I’d be weaving a dream

I’d be travelling a new path.

If only I knew

What I wanted to be

Where I wanted to go

My eyes would sparkle, glint

Not be dull, aching, too heavy to blink

With the burden of seeing myself

Waste this life away, this precious time away.

I would feel alive, I would feel my lungs breathe

I would feel my lips smile, I would giggle

I would make a difference to the world

Plant a few trees, feed a few animals

Ooze love, kindness, my own kind of sunshine.

If only I could,

If only I could.

What stops me I wonder, I ponder even more

In my already busy, trafficked head

From breaking my own inhibitions 

From getting out the door, out into the world.

What is this aggression, frustration

Pointless irritation, agitation?

Is this depression? That dreaded monster!

Is it? I need to get away from it

But I feel ashamed, trying to run away,

From that monster, for I need courage to fight it

Courage to face it, my fear, my grief

It is a battle I must fight alone, I know

Because it would, and it could help me

Cast me away from shadows, towards light

I need some strength, some valour

Some care, some love, some help from you

You need to be patient, I will survive

You need to hold my hand,

And then let it go, as I fly, free and high

Because I’m sure I will, someday, soon.

For I’ve heard

A fearless dream and a little hope is all you need

To live this beautiful journey called life.


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